Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
I was on a date last week and when I went to the washroom I noticed something on the back of my dress. When I turned around to look at it I saw that it was a red stain and realized that I must have gotten my period. I ran out of the restaurant as fast as I could, without even saying bye to my date. We haven't spoken since.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 8:39 AM
Friday, December 25, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
This girl I know is constantly telling her boyfriend how hot she thinks this other guy is. All the time. At least twice a day. I sometimes doubt if she actually is attracted to her boyfriend, to be honest. I wish he wasn't so whipped so he'd drop her like she deserves.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 11:52 AM
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
When shopping the other day I took 2 sizes of the same skirt into the dressing room, one was my size and one was a few sizes smaller. I cut the size off that was written in the smaller one and then bought the skirt that was my size. When I got home I sowed in the tag from the smaller size over the real size so that when I wear the skirt on my date this weekend my date won't be shocked if he happens to see a double digit size, because there will only be a single digit one now...
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
My mother had a nervous break down a few months ago and ever since she's been in a psychiatric clinic. I haven't told anyone because I'm embarrassed of what they'll think, so if people ask about my mother I tell them that she is working overseas for a while.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 11:51 AM
I've been married with kids for 10 years but I recently ran into an ex of mine who was with her daughter. I haven't been able to sleep since because her daughter looks a lot like me and she is old enough to have been born a little while after we broke up.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
My boyfriend told me he loves me for the first time yesterday, and I couldn't get the words out of my mouth and ended up just saying thank you. Now I wonder if the reason I couldn't get the words out is because I'm not actually in love with him like I thought.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 11:21 AM
Friday, December 18, 2009
I feel like I send too many confessions/regrets/worries/insecurities to Confessions of Eden. But I know that there's not many people I can trust with what I need to let go of. So here's another one. I'm seventeen, but I feel like I'm in the career of psychology, and my friends are my clients. I don't know how much longer I can keep trying to keep them happy without bull shitting my way through it. I know they are so sick of hearing the "I'm sorry's" and "It'll get better's", "You just have to keep trying's." But I don't know what else to tell them, and it makes me feel terrible.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 8:01 AM
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
My friends were all atheists when we were kids. They thought Christians were jerks because they "pushed their religions on others" and being cruel and unfair and mocking of any other belief system. Five years later, this idea has spread to religion in general and now they openly laugh or mock any religion if even mentioned or referred to offhand. I found Hashem about a year ago and I wonder if they even realize what hypocrites they're being. It disgusts me!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
When my boyfriend got a new phone I made sure to delete all the contact information for anyone I didn't like and for all the random sluts he had on his phone. When he noticed the missing contacts he assumed that they must not have transfered properly from his old phone, and now I don't have to worry about him talking to any sluts.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 8:54 PM
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
I believe that people have disregarded Christianity and that with it, morals have also gone out the window. It's sad to see people walking around acting so selfishly and denouncing gods existence, when they wouldn't even be around if it weren't for god.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 7:24 PM
I saw a huge bruise on my teacher's back and I think her new boyfriend is being violent with her. She's also started wearing turtle-necks constantly and she's been staying after class offering to supervise all kinds of extra-curricular programs when last year she was the first one out of the school when the bell rang.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 11:25 AM
Friday, December 11, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
I think I'm going to force myself to restrict more with my food. Get up, take my metabolism pill, eat a banana, drink a bottle of water and eat nothing else for the rest of the day. I have this goal to lose 50 pounds by summer. And I will by all cost reach that goal. Even if that means bringing back my old habits. No matter what, I will be skinny and look good by summer of 2010!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
My sister got breast implants before we moved to a new town, and everyone's always commenting on her big chest and how she great she looks. It bothers me because sometimes people even look at her chest and then look at mine and ask if we're related. It was really starting to get on my nerves so I told a few people that her beasts are fake, which is why they are so much larger than mine. Little did I know that telling a few people would spark a rumor that would make its way back to my sister. She has no idea how the rumor started and I don't plan on telling her.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 4:42 PM
Nudity is the most awkward thing ever to me. I hate being nude so much. To get nude in front of anyone is nerve racking for me. I'm a seventeen year old girl. I had sex with a girl, it was awkward and I know it was bad, I did it so people would leave me alone about not having had sex. I still feel uncomfortable about it. I feel alienated from my friends because of the issue I have with nudity.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 11:26 AM
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
My mother recently remarried and I just can't warm up to my new step father. There is something about him that creeps me out and I just get a bad vibe from him but I'm scared if I said something to my mother that she would just end up pushing me away.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 7:15 PM
Sunday, December 6, 2009
I've tried so many diets and nothing works. I weighed myself the other day and I gained 5 pounds in 2 days even though I'm on a diet. I can't take it anymore and yesterday I broke my diet and ate a cake and a bag of chips and then I cried for an hour feeling guilty because I gave in.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 10:22 PM
I've started having feelings for a guy the past few months and last week he told me he loves me. The problem is that I have a boyfriend and even though I don't want to be with him anymore I can't just end it with him that easily because he's abusive. I'm scared that if I leave my boyfriend for another guy he'll go find the other guy and beat the life out of him. So I told him he should forget about me and that I don't love him back. I hope that whenever I get out of this relationship that it won't be to late for us, and that he'll still be there waiting for me.
Most of the guys I've dated have been complete jerks. My current boyfriend is great and nothing like the guys I've dated before, but I've gone through so much with other guys that I'm scared and I know I'm holding back because at the back of my mind I think that it's too good to be true and that he'll end up turning out like the rest of them.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 1:36 PM
Saturday, December 5, 2009
I've been working as an undercover cop for the past few months and it's been the hardest time of my life. I can't tell my family the truth and they are very judgmental. I was addicted to drugs for a while and since then I have gotten clean and joined the police. Because I have first hand knowledge of the drug world they chose me to go undercover. My family has no idea and they think that I've just gotten sucked into the criminal world and they've cut me off. My family is all I have and it hurts to think that as long as I am working undercover I have lost my family.
Friday, December 4, 2009
My aunt gave me a pearl necklace to wear to my friend's wedding, because I don't have much jewelry. I had quite a bit to drink at the wedding and when I woke up the next day the necklace was missing. I looked everywhere and even called the hall but it's nowhere. She's called me twice since then but I purposely ignored the calls. I have no idea how to tell her I lost her favorite necklace and it will take months for me to save up the money to buy a new one.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 10:47 AM
Thursday, December 3, 2009
I am very jealous of my younger sister. Everything seems to come easier for her. She's very talented and smart. Everything that I'm not. She's also a stick compared to me. She used to be chubby and she worked hard to lose a lot of weight. She always has guys/girls always wanting her. It honestly makes me feel like shit. Because I'm honestly fat, I weigh 170 to her 100 pounds. I never have any luck finding a significant other. Sometimes I find a guy/girl that likes me until they see my sister and then there like "she's so gorgeous. How old is she? What's her number?" She's only 15 and I'm 19 and I guess it makes me jealous bc the guys I LIKE want her. She's everything I've always wanted to be. Thin, successful, beautiful, smart... I feel I'll never be as good as her. I'm fat, I'm not smart at all, I don't feel beautiful. I try not to show that I'm jealous, because don't get me wrong she's my best friend who I love dearly, but sometimes I wish I was dealt with a nice hand of cards and be just as happy as her...
Posted by confessionsofeden at 4:16 PM
There are days where so much shit goes wrong, I just cross my fingers and pray that I don't wake up. I seriously squeeze my eyes so tight together, to the point that they hurt, and think about how dying would be so much easier than this. But, all I know is that it's going to get better. I don't know when, I don't know how, I just simply know it is. Sometimes, I just want to shut the world off; the noises, the cars beeping, the people yelling. I don't want to listen. I want to scream, until I have lost my voice, because I am losing my sanity. I never wanted any of this, ever.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 10:56 AM
I'm scared that someone might be stalking me. Out of nowhere these past few weeks I keep seeing the same guy in a bunch of different places. I work in retail and the first time I saw him was when I was at work. Ever since I've seen him at a restaurant I went to twice, and he was their both times, at my university a few times, and even at another mall. It's creeping me out because I live in a big city and it's almost impossible to randomly run in to people, and he's probably 40 or older so its weird that he would even be at a university. I haven't seen him near my house, yet, so I can at least feel safe at house, but every time I'm out in public I'm always looking over my shoulders.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 8:19 AM
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
My mom will randomly disappear for days on end and its been going on for as long as I can remember. I have no idea where she disappears to and I've never asked because it's sort of understand that it's a subject we don't talk about. I'm not 10 years old though now, and this secrets getting to be a bit much. She would never tell me so I think I might have to follow her out one of these days...
Posted by confessionsofeden at 1:24 PM
Someone broke in to our house last week and stole all our electronics including my external hard drive which had sexy videos of my girlfriend on it. Now I'm freaking out because they weren't password protect and whoever stole it has probably already seen them. I'm worried that they might send them out on the internet or upload them to websites where anyone could see them. I haven't told my girlfriend yet because I don't know how to tell her without her freaking out and getting histerical.
Posted by confessionsofeden at 10:43 AM
I heard my parents talking about how I was an accident, and how their lives would have been so much easier if my mother hadn't accidentally gotten pregnant with me. I've always felt really loved but now I wonder if it's more of an act than a genuine emotion.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
I was pissed at my sister the other day for something she did to me so I purposely wet the floor outside her bedroom door. Less than a half hour later I heard a banging sound and came out and saw her laying on the floor. Her left leg is half bruised and I secretly smile every time I see the bruise.